This morning I'm thinking a lot about my eldest daughter, Mia. I think it stems from watching her put together the most outrageous outfit for Decades Day yesterday at school. She wore a pink cowboy hat and red boots. She wore a too small cowgirl outfit over a long sleeved tee and jeans.
And she was so proud.
Talking to her throughout the morning it became clear that she was dressing as one of the first ever women Pony Express drivers. I found out later that she took some flack for it from other kids who told her that she couldn't be a Pony Express driver because there were no GIRL pony express drivers. She didn't care. She was one and they couldn't prove her wrong.
As a parent I worry so much about her---especially as I watch her careen towards the tricky pre-teen and high school years. I want so much for her to take the spirit she has of not caring what the world thinks of her as far as she can. She loves fully and will play with anyone who will listen to her stories and engage in her world. She can be completely unaware which shields her from a lot of heartache.
I remember being so aware of what I thought others thought of me. I remember being so uncomfortable in my body, clothes, & spirit. I wanted so much to be liked, included, & admired.
It never phased me that those things really don't matter until much later and I still struggle with self-doubt.
I learn by watching her, though, to let things go. I try to live in her example of living as freely as I can. I try to be kind to myself in order to teach her to love herself---as she is.
I love her free spirit, wacky outfits, and imagination.
I just love her.