Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Life With Twins: Attention

"That's so funny, Momma!"
This little man has been my shadow lately. I can't say I mind too much. He's been talking my ear off, wanting to cuddle, and asking me to sing him songs. These are all things that he'll shy away from as he gets older I'm sure. And so, even as I'm trying to sneak my own quiet time with a book and tea in the backyard, I welcome his little "visits." 

"Bee stung me right here."
One of the things about having twins is that your attention is always divided. And yet, these two always find ways to seek out our attention. I'm noticing it more and more and try to honor it as much as possible. Naomi will come sit at the table with Mark and me long after dinner is over and pick bits and pieces off our plates. She'll sneak smiles and giggles through the rearview mirror as we are driving. She's a little more sneaky about it. 
Hollis is more obvious, often crawling right up into my lap and putting his nose against mine. He'll repeat what he's saying until you repeat what he said and explain it further.
It's a hard thing to balance, but in watching them grow into happy and funny little folk, I'm reassured that we're doing something right. 

We've talked about trying little outings with one twin at a time to maximize the alone time with a parent. So far, it's been a tricky thing to pull off because they don't like to be separated. Hollis will get agitated if he doesn't know where Naomi is. They search each other out and even if they aren't playing together, they seem to check in with each other frequently. 
"Where's Nomi?" he'll ask. 
It's one of the most fascinating things to witness---the relationship between the two of them. 

Hollis helps remind me that the little moments matter. That even though I am a mother divided in more ways than I can count, we can connect and show love in the smallest of ways. 

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